Mea culpa, mea culpa

OK, I apologize for not keeping up lately, but it just hasn't been that good of a sports time. Oh, I'm sure people will say that it's playoff time, etc, etc. Come on now....let's all be honest: Who's really keeping up with the last couple of weeks of the seasons, especially if you're a Knicks fan. Oh, ok, if you're a Knicks fan, you stopped caring at Thanksgiving, and you can't even look forward to a good lottery pick. You traded it away to the Bulls. But anyway, garbage time in professional sports can really be a bore. So, with that in mind, let's get to ripping those in sports who need it most.

Kieth Hernandez, please pick up the nearest white courtesy phone. Of course, you'd just call it a phone. For those that don't know, Hernandez publically ripped, on the air, I might add, a massage therapist for the San Diego Padres for being in the dugout during a game, and congratulating Mike Piazza for hitting a home run. I should add the therapist is a woman. Hernandez said the woman had no place in the dugout. Wake up, Kieth. Look at all the women involved in professional sports now. I dare say that ESPN's Suzy Kolber could more than hold her own in an NFL discussion with a room full of guys. She'd probably embarrass more than a few of them. That's just the way things are now. Hernandez is a caveman from a bygone era of professional sports. I will say this, though. If a guy doing a WNBA telecast popped off about women, he'd be out of a job before the broadcast was over. Hernandez was a pro baseball player, so he'll probably get a hall pass. Where's the equality?

The NBA playoffs have gotten underway, and I'll probably be eligible to draw my retirement before the first round is over. The first round of the NBA playoffs is akin to getting a root canal without any kind of pain medication. It used to be a five game series, and it was more exciting then (See also: Denver upsetting Seattle, 1994). Now, with TV dictating the pace of the playoffs, baseball will be talking about who's starting in the All-Star game before we get to their conference finals.
And, staying with the NBA, is there any franchise more pathetic (ok, don't count the Knicks) than the Portland Trailblazers? Here's a hint for the NBA: When one of America's richest men can't make the thing work, it's not happening. Again, sports is a constantly evolving being (see:Hernandez, Keith, above), and where a team once made it work might not be feasible today. Portland is for sale, but with their reputation of recent years, who knows what they'll be able to get for an owner? They should either move the team to another city.......wait a minute, nobody wants them. OK, blow the whole thing up, and let that be the end of it in Portland.

In baseball, and I must send out apologies to my friend Emil right here, if the Texas Rangers don't get a closer who is a true "fireman", and not a guy who comes out there with a gas can, The Ballpark will be a lonely place for the Rangers come Spetember. Rangers closer Francisco Cordero, the last holdover from the Juan Gonzalez trade, blew another save against Tampa Bay (yes, that's right, I did say Tampa Bay) Saturday night by giving up a three-run homer to right. Forget the fact that the Rangers won it in the bottom of the ninth, Cordero isn't fooling anyone. He has one pitch, and it's coming straight down Randol Mill Road. Time it right, and it's going to go a long way in the other direction. Before the trade deadline, Rangers GM Jon Daniels had better beat the bushes for someone who can actually close games. I hear Billy Koch is looking for work. Heck, while you're at it, audition John Wetteland, Jeff Russell, and Jeff Zimmerman. Any one of those guys can do a better job than Cordero is doing now.


To the NFC East now, and this will be fun, since Big D is in this division. We'll start with them.

Dallas-They signed T.O., and then went on to sign a couple of offensive linemen, and a kicker. FOr the first time I can remember, they won't have to scour the waiver wire for a kicker on the day before the season. Owens will end up destroying Valley Ranch, if not Texas Stadium as well. I've seen the spot where the new Cowboys stadium is going. Maybe this is all by design. If the Cowboys don't get it done this season, they're done! Parcells won't be staying around to catch the latest edition of the T.O. circus, and I don't blame him. But, come Saturday, I'd love to see Dallas pick up Winston Moss, offensive lineman out of USC. If he's not available, hopefully saftey Michael Huff out of Texas will be there.
New York-Media circus heaven. Eli Manning seems to enjoy it there. They just picked up the highest priced, least productive linebacker in LaVar Arrington. When the Redskins bench you, that's saying something. But, not just anyone can play for the Giants. It takes someone with some mental toughness. That's why I look for someone from a high profile program to get drafted there. If they take, say, someone from Idaho, he'll either crumble under the microscope, or gewt swept up in the New York scene. Seriously, New York needs just to add depth at a few positions, and they'll make a solid run for the division title next season.
Washington-Normally, I'd do nothing but rip their owner here, but it's almost lost its punch. Snyder collects players like he berates team employees. But, on the flip side, he must be doing something right. His team is securely in first place in revenue generated. They got Super Bowl hero Antwan Randle-El in free agency, but he can't do it all. QB Patrick Ramsey won't be there for long, and backup Jason Campbell has never taken an NFL snap. They really need some help at corner, because I think they regret the Champ Bailey trade. This draft has some good corners, and I see Washington going after someone like Marcus Maxey out of Miami, since they have no first rounder, and they'll be looking for gems in the later rounds. They might get back to the play-offs, but it will only take a good hit on Mark Brunell to derail the whole wagon. Joe Gibbs should return the NASCAR.
Philadelphia-With the whole T.O. thing behind them, they will be looking to rebound from a year where it seemed they got five years' worth of bad luck in one season. Donovan McNabb went down with an injury, and the season quickly headed south. They lost a game on Monday night last season they had absolutely NO business losing (Dallas), and, as is the custom in Philly, got booed from their own home fans. They'll look to upgrade at WR, and Florida's Chad jackson should be available to them at 14. Where they'll get healthy is on day two, where they have three 4th round picks, and two 5th rounders. Usually, teams can get really good on day two, and Philly is primed for it. Keep McNabb healthy, and they'll return to the playoffs.


Again, apologies for the tardiness. Watch the draft this weekend. Things will really get going Thursday, right up until the whole thing kicks off. I'm stoked for this. TIll next time.....


Patrick